Change is a process. The process of any change is the series of actions, thoughts, and choices that move us towards the change or changes we want to make. The same process of actions, thoughts, and choices are also what holds us back from creating the change we want. The things we feel, think, say, and believe about our lives are constantly putting change into motion, regardless of whether we realize it or not. Every day we are creating our lives as we go, and we all have the choice to continue on with our lives as we currently live them or start to create the life we actually want. If we want to truly understand what is stopping us from reaching our full potential we must be willing to identify, overcome, develop, and grow into new processes that move us towards inevitable success.
Biology And The Lazy Brain
Why do we find it so difficult to create and maintain changes even when we know it is good for us? Understanding the basic biological answers to this question can greatly shift our perspective around our own individual challenges and our desire to change. As we know, the brain is the epicenter of all that keeps us living and breathing. However, from an operational standpoint the brain would prefer to lay in the backyard, drink a pina colada (complete with a tiny umbrella) and reward us for our habitual patterns that prevent us from creating change. As a way of encouraging us to habituate most things in our lives the brain actually rewards us with a burst of feel-good chemicals for keeping things the same. When we are continually stuck in our ways of feeling, thinking, saying, and believing the brain can then go on autopilot thus allowing it to reduce the amount of energy it needs to put out. The familiar ways we move through our lives feel good, even if we know it is not exactly what we want.
The other biological reason that our lazy brains resist change is the extremely outdated programming every brain is blessed with. Our brains are wired with an error alert system that served us well when our goals were based around not being eaten by a saber tooth tiger or trampled by a woolly mammoth. This operating alert system served us well back then when any new sound in the bush could have meant certain death. The brain then, and the brain today is hyper-vigilant and constantly trying to protect us from harm. Due the nature of the way the human brain is programmed anything outside of the ordinary serves as an alert that something is wrong, and action must be taken to avoid this new thing. Even though we may know what is required for change to occur, our brain fights us because it sees the new experience as a threat; and this is why creating change can be very challenging.
How To Overcome The Evolutional Programming Of Our Lazy Brains
Thankfully most of us do not live in an environment in which we are threatened to the point of actual survival anymore. One would think that this is good news, and it definitely is, however we are still stuck with the brains evolution has given us including the programming that comes with it. The other good news is that creating awareness around how the brain is designed to operate gives us the ability to stop automatic reactions, create an understanding of what we are thinking and feeling, and take more control of our lives.
Due to the nature in which our brains are programmed and the reason this programming exists in the manner it does (which was to protect us), let’s look at some specific obstacles that can get in the way of being able to create deliberate change and how these obstacles are linked to elements of our primitive (cave man) brain. Listed below within the obstacles presented are examples of how our primitive brain programming views these obstacles and how we can overcome these outdated processes.
Fear Of Rejection/Judgement/Being Different
In our quest for approval we will adapt to people, situations, and behaviors to avoid the feeling of rejection and judgement even if it is at our own expense and comfort. The primitive aspect of the brains programmed survival mechanism makes us believe that it is more of a threat to be ourselves and that receiving approval from others is necessary to our existence. In order to change the way we view rejection and judgement we need to change the way we view ourselves.
Fear Of Uncertainty/Discomfort
Humans are hard wired to seek comfort and certainty and avoid failure. As we learned earlier our brains prefer routine, sameness, and habitual patterns. Our routines present the brain with information that it is familiar with, thus allowing it to protect us from failure and potentially uncomfortable situations. We are now aware that the brain views anything outside of the ordinary as something to be avoided. In order to change the way we experience uncertainty and discomfort, we must shift how we view the discomfort that comes with disappointment and failure.
Stuck In Habits/Patterns
Human beings are creatures of habit. What we think, how we feel, how we react, and what we believe are all part of our habitual make up. Despite the brains laid back, pina colada sipping approach to life, learning how to recognize your own patterns and habits is the first step to creating change for yourself. Our awareness around the brains desire to resist new experiences in order to protect us (from threats that no longer exist) helps us to understand how we can start to move out of our habitual patterns that do not serve our long term goals for change.
Fear Of Disappointment And Failure
In the early days of human existence disappointment and failure likely meant that you lost your dinner to someone or something bigger than you (most likely that pesky saber tooth tiger) and shamefully went home to your hungry family empty handed. However, the very next day you left the cave and tried again. In our lives today we tend to perceive that disappointment and failure are threats to our integrity, and our existence is on the edge of being compromised because we didn’t succeed. This fear has the potential to keep us hidden in our own proverbial “caves”, determined to avoid having to experience that feeling again. In order to change the way we view the disappointments and failures we experience is to take every single failure as a lesson. Any new experience (even if it isn’t pleasant) gives us the opportunity to create the change we really want.
FEAR Is Stuck In The Past
The common denominator in this list of obstacles, when we compare the primitive brain to the non-primitive brain is FEAR. We cannot deny that our fear response was critical to our survival a long time ago and that the protective mechanisms in our brain saved us in life or death scenarios. As we navigate life today it is important to understand that a large part of what we experience whether its fear, anxiety, failure, discomfort, uncertainty, or rejection is tied to the brains desire to protect us. It is through this understanding that we can learn more about what is holding us back from creating the change we want, and learning how to adapt new processes that move us towards inevitable success.
